January feels like a lifetime ago. My hope for an imminent end to the predicament we are all in has somewhat turned into weariness. Singapore is just coming out of a fresh set of restrictions introduced over a month ago. Dining in is allowed again albeit in minuscule groups of two. I suppose two is better than none. Just enough to go on date nights.
I have not been as diligent with my writing as I hoped for at the beginning of the year. Somehow, I lost the momentum I had going in 2020. To an extent, my social calendar was busy. With the prospect of foreign travel nowhere in sight, I could only cope with cabin fever by meeting up with friends and going on mini-excursions within the island. Mostly, I’ve been spending a lot of time ruminating rather than writing.
Nearly everyday for the past three months, I have been noting down a list of all the things I am grateful for on a particular day. An addendum to my mindfulness practice. Notably, my list is longer on stressful days. Perhaps because it’s often easier to overlook the little things when everything is going well but when times are tough, I force myself to dig deeper to find any silver lining. With this exercise, almost instantly, my worries dissipate. Mindfulness has become an overarching theme in my life ever since the pandemic put life to a standstill. I became aware of my thought patterns and listened to my body giving off distress signals. I became conscious of what I feed my mind and my body. I rest when I feel weary.
Lately, there’s a general consensus amongst my friend groups about the lack of willingness to do more in our work lives. I’m not sure whether it’s the pandemic fatigue driving our shared lack of motivation, or the thought that just doing and having enough is, in fact, enough. That we do not need to go into overdrive. Sincerely, I (and I’m sure my friends are too!) am grateful to be gainfully employed during this time. In fact, I’m celebrating a work anniversary this month. But the idea of going back to our hometowns has floated around in conversations on more than one occasion. Perhaps it’s the homesickness creeping its way into our consciousness. It has been almost a year and a half since I was home last.
One of my good friends, Rachel, left Singapore permanently at the beginning of the month. Amidst restrictions, the most we could do to send her off was hang out at Jessica’s apartment and watch the Friends Reunion episode together. In hindsight, it seemed like a fitting ending – the one with the final cheers boomerang. Living away from home, I realise I rely a lot on my friends to keep my sanity intact. Their presence in my life, physical or virtual, always gives me reassuring comfort. Rachel’s departure left a dent in my social life but while a gap was left by her leaving, the return of someone dear no sooner filled it. Albeit that story is a work in progress. And has been for a very long time. Haist.
The last five months have been a good time for introspection. The other day, Heart Evangelista, a well-known socialite, answered a question on her Instagram stories about how she deals with toxic people. She deletes them from her life, she said. There’s merit to her method for sure. But I came to wonder whether I too am a toxic person in someone’s life. I’d like to think not, but I’m sure somewhere out there in the vast world wide web, someone has muted me. I won’t take offence because to each his own. Besides, it would take a lot to offend me these days. Heller. Art of Dedma. Anyway, we all need to do what we need to do to protect our vibe but I think it’s important to also look inside yourself, like your oldest friend, just trust the voice within. Charot kanta pala yun. The message remains anyhow.
Not much has been happening this past few weeks. Days have been pretty mundane. I work out at home to keep fit and healthy. My new favourite is jumping rope which I find more efficient than running. I read but lately I’ve been watching more tv because the sporting calendar is packed with my favourite tournaments again. First the French Open, then the European Championship, next up Wimbledon and finally, and hopefully, the Olympics. My friends and I scored tickets to the Tokyo Games when these were offered to the general public back in 2019 and had it not been for the obvious, going to the Games would have been a realisation of a lifelong dream. I considered going to the Games in Brazil many years back but plans just didn’t align. Here’s hoping one day I make it there.
I had high hopes for the year 2021 to make a daring come back but as it stands, the world is still largely socially distanced. With Singapore being overly cautious about opening up and the Duterte-led Philippines being the archetype of gross mismanagement, it’s been difficult to make any sort of travel plans for the immediate future. Never mind traveling for leisure, my priority is to see my family, most especially my Lola. I can only hang on until then.
It’s great to see the city abuzz with people dining out again. I have met a couple of friends for dinner on separate occasions since dining in has been allowed. There’s an underrated joy in simply exchanging stories over a meal or a pint of beer or both. It’s both heartwarming and stress-relieving.
Bon. C’est déjà trop longue. J’espère que vous allez bien. Je vais essayer d’écrire plus ici. Comme vous pouvez le voir, je vous parle en Français. C’est une des choses que je continue. J’apprends la langue depuis deux an et demi et je souhaite m’améliorer. Je ne sais pas où cette chose va m’améner mais on verra ! À la prochaine fois !
January feels like a lifetime ago, but there are moments when it feels like it happened yesterday. There is a time warp.
A healthy introspection is good for the soul. I’m glad you are writing things down, like the things you are grateful for. Putting things on paper allows us to focus on the many good, God-given things we set aside.
Ako man, dream ko gid maka-tan-aw sang Olympics. So far, asta Palarong Pambansa sa SMRAA pa lang gid ang na-attendan ko.
Hi Kuya Lance! Yes there’s always something to be grateful for gid bisan ano pa gakatabo.
Haha naham-ot ko sa SMRAA, mingaw na gid ko sa Marbel ba. Ti, kitaay ta sa Olympics someday ah!