Because I’ve committed to writing about the day to day when I started this blog a few weeks ago, I feel compelled to recap the events of the last few days despite being still pretty much locked in.
On Friday, 12th of June, I closed yet another chapter of my life working in corporate. I ended my two-year stint at a US tech company to join a Dutch-founded boutique firm. In ordinary times, I would have gone out for farewell lunch with colleagues and capped off the day with celebratory happy hour drinks at Empire eventually waking up to a spinning head and an upset stomach the following morning because a couple of drinks at Empire would have turned to a few more glasses of vodka sodas at Mogambo and then one too many shots of jager bombs at Hero’s. But these are not ordinary times so I merely woke up that day, went straight to my makeshift home office in the same clothes I slept in and carried on with work as usual. In a touching gesture, my boss and a few colleagues sent food to my apartment as a farewell treat. In another surprising one, my clients, whom I’ve served for the last several years, gave me a call to express their gratitude for my work. Towards the end of the day, I bade goodbye to my team via the popular video-conferencing app, Zoom. I felt it needful to at least brush my hair and put on a nice dress for that. I fired off my final email bidding farewell to everyone who mattered.
What struck me during our goodbyes was how generous my clients and colleagues were with their compliments and well wishes. For someone like me who self-confesses as a perfectionist work bitch, I give myself little credit for my persistent work ethic. One colleague said that I explain concepts well and found my trainings easy to follow. Another said that I am patient. Now that’s one word I would not use to describe me because I know for a fact my tolerance for idiocy is little to none. But maybe, when the situation requires, I am. Suffice it to say I was touched. Leaving was bittersweet but necessary.
Coincidentally, the Philippines also commemorates its independence every 12th of June. With everything going on, with the relentless attacks to civil liberties and press freedom, with a president one hair away from unconstitutionally declaring martial law and giving up the country’s sovereignty to China, I wonder if I can still truly call my country free. I fear for my friends and family who have to bear the brunt of the government’s declining impetus to elevate its citizens’ living conditions and uphold basic human rights.
To distract myself from all the depressing news, I immerse in Orhan Pamuk’s memoirs of Istanbul. His depiction of the city’s melancholic ambiance is accurate to how I remember the city being. He calls it Hüzün, a Turkish word, and explains it as a collective melancholy lived by all people of Istanbul, and not the melancholy felt by just a single individual.
When even that gets depressing, virtual catch up with friends, or a trip to the salon, does the trick. I start my new job in a week. Rumor has it my new colleague is good looking so best look forward right? Or was that foot?
Ciao!
T.