A year ago, my friend Rachel asked me to write a personal note to read on her wedding day originally scheduled in September of 2020. I was happy to do so but the pandemic hit and derailed some plans. A year later, her fiancé, now husband, sent me a message asking if I’d still be willing to do it and have one of their friends read it at the ceremony. Of course! It feels timely to share this now because when they left Singapore in June this year, I didn’t know when I’d see Rachel again, only to find ourselves reasonably tipsy in the streets of Munich at the one year anniversary of their postponed wedding.
Dearest Rachel,
When you asked me to write a passage for your wedding day, I was delighted and gleefully agreed. But soon after, I realised that I may have overestimated my capacity to write about weddings and love given my dismal track record on both.
Yet, in the years that I’ve known you and Damo, I’ve witnessed what love means for two people who consistently choose each other against many odds.
Love is flying across the world to be there for each other for the good times, but more importantly for the tough ones.
Love is showing affection through tender touches and warm words.
Love is communicating constantly even if it’s just to send a bunch of gibberish shortly before passing out from a night of drunken stupor.
Love is checking up on and looking after each other’s well-being while sick or perhaps hungover, but what’s the difference.
Love is managing to stay sane and alive for a long period stuck together in lockdown.
Love is asking a friend to do something special for the other, like making this note.
Love is letting each other grow to their utmost potential without any caveats or impositions.
Finally, love is making the biggest decision to spend the rest of your lives together because the contrary for you seems unthinkable.
I know that despite all the stress induced by wedding planning, today will be one of the happiest, most memorable days of your life. While I may not be there to celebrate with you in person, my heart and mind are joyful for you. My wish for you and Damo is a marriage filled with patience, understanding, joy and warmth.
Take care of each other and this beautiful thing that you have called love.
Yours ,
Trish
