I ordered the book of the same title on Amazon a few months ago but out of my own stupidity, I missed to indicate the unit number of my apartment in the address box so until now, my order has not reached me. Here’s where I have to tell you that this is not a book review and I have absolutely no idea what exactly the author means by not giving a fuck. However, in my own life, I had become more thoughtful about the fucks I’m willing to give. God knows I’ve given away too many in the past (maybe quite literally too but meh) and the older I got, the less sustainable it became. It started weighing me down and I had grown tired of losing sleep over something that I probably won’t be caring about in a year’s time. On that account, I made some calculated adjustments to curb my propensity to give useless fucks.
For a start, I’ve dissociated myself from people I no longer give a fuck about. For example, DDS dipshits. You know who you are and chances are, I’ve already blocked, unfollowed or unfriended you in all forms of social media I happen to have had the misfortune of interacting with you. My mental health cannot handle your spurious logic. Go to hell and please take your president with you. The same sentiment goes to bigots, racists, narcissists and all the other -ists who impinge on people’s fundamental freedom to live their lives the way they see fit, granted that nobody else’s freedom is curtailed. There is no room for that kind of toxicity in my life, or anyone else’s for that matter. So if you find yourself attacked by this, maybe you should walk back and take stock.
Second, I’ve decided to stop giving a fuck about being perfect because perfection is the enemy of progress said Winston Churchill. Few years ago when I was living in Hong Kong, I enrolled in a beginner course on Salsa dancing. I remember feeling particularly excited about leaving work on Tuesday and Thursday nights to go to my class. Few sessions in, our dance instructors spontaneously invited our class to go with them to salsa night in one of the bars in LKF. When we got there, I was amazed at and felt jealous of everyone’s grace on the dance floor. My instructor guided me to a small opening in the middle to practice what little skill I’ve since acquired but somehow I froze. I became too self-conscious I could barely remember the steps. I decided to quietly leave the party shortly afterwards because I felt inferior and embarrassed. In hindsight, I realized that holding myself to such a high standard has hindered me from having a genuinely good time. The desire to be perfect impeded my progress. So I resolved to cut myself some slack. This is not to mean that I’ve settled for mediocrity either. This just means that I’ve since become more open to relish in the novelty of trying out new things without the pressure of reaching Olympic-level competence.
Third, I’ve stopped giving a fuck about money. I say this in the context that I am not impressed by an ostentatious display of material wealth because you can be rich but still be inherently cheap. On that note, I also have no patience for people who keep sizing me up based on my net asset value. It’s not negative that is as much as I can tell you but allow me to say that it’s always been one of my goals to become financially independent (subject for another day) because life is long and it goes against my very nature to let other people carry the burden of my care.
Last, I’ve stopped giving a fuck about things that do not contribute to a mindset of continuous growth. Wow. That sounded a little more profound than intended. Anyhow, I used to care so much about being right so I wasted so many fucks on correcting what I perceived was other people’s wrongs. I recognize now that I did not become a better person for some of the things I’ve said and done when I was young. I do believe that there’s always room for character development in the story of our lives. If you’re starring in it, might as well make yourself the protagonist rather than the villain.
With all that being said, I’m not really sure how to end this piece. But since we’re on the subject of not giving a fuck I’ll just leave it here because…
Namaste!