These days, more so than ever, we seem to be constantly confronted by death, not only by its certainty but also by its nearness. Yesterday, a friend messaged me in disbelief over the death of her former colleague, a woman in her thirties who purportedly died from a ruptured aneurysm. It was sudden and patently unexpected. “Life is short” was all I could say because indeed it is.
“Would it be better if I know when I’ll die so I can prioritise what to do?” She mused. A rhetorical question and a thought-provoking one.
Evidently the answer will always be no because there’s no yardstick to knowing when we will die. The closest we can come to an approximation is when diagnosed with a terminal illness, where doctors give a calculated guess of the length of one’s remaining life. At which point, wouldn’t you think it’s too late to be prioritising? Do we have to reach that point to start crossing off things from our bucket list, to do things that bring us joy and fulfilment?
What I said to her in response was how I truly felt in that moment. That whether I die tomorrow or 50 years from now, I want to make sure that I’ve lived a meaningful life. That even though I may not get the chance to do everything I want to do, I would still be happy with the way I have lived; sticking to my principles, treating everyone fairly and showing up for the people I care about. If I don’t fall short in any of those, I’ve succeeded. You would think it’s a pretty low bar but life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. There are days I get caught up in my own bubble of issues I lose sight of what truly matters. This is where being mindful and grateful often come in handy. They keep me grounded. They let me find joy in little things.
A meaningful life is multifaceted. It could mean very different things to different people. It is also by no means living a saintly life because at this rate, I don’t think I’ll ever qualify. Some people find raising children fulfilling, others not so much. Some find joy in spending time with people, others content with being a recluse. Some make it a mission to devote their lives in their chosen career paths, others make a life out of traveling the world happy doing odd jobs here and there (or there and there? lol sorry couldn’t help it, AWKP reference). The point being, there is no one way to find meaning in life. One can seem to “have it all” and still feel empty. It demands a lot of introspection on our part to be truly in tune with how we feel. It is also about finding a community of people that share the same core values. The choices we make should reflect what we find important in life. It goes without saying these choices should not fly in the face of anyone else’s basic rights.
With everything going on in the world, it’s easy to fall into a trap of brainless existence. Another friend pointed out that perhaps the reason we’re currently languishing is because we’re devoid of new experiences. I completely agree. When the time comes, and when it is safe to do so, I hope we get to experience the novelty of discovering new things again. I think we owe it to ourselves and to the people who love us to lead our best, most meaningful lives. La vie est courte après tout.
A collection of scenic views and interesting things from my various walks around Singapore.