Turning Over A New Leaf

5 min read

At the stroke of midnight on the eve of the Lunar New Year, I found myself standing on the famous shorelines of Boracay, marvelling at the fireworks that illuminated its night sky. I was in the company of some of my college best friends, people I realise I’ve now known for half of my life. The day before, I bore witness to a childhood friend get married at the same church I was baptised in. The constancy of old friendships is like an anchor. No matter how far the currents of life take me, I can always rely on it to pull me back and ground me. Which is quite fitting because the turn of the year has brought about some fairly significant changes, few that were not entirely unexpected but several that somewhat caught me off guard. I certainly needed some anchoring.

The house I grew up in at Morrow Street had been recently demolished. It was home to our family for over 60 years, witness to many sorrows but far greater joys and happy moments. A newer, more modern commercial building that is more in keeping with the times will be erected in place thereof. I had been supportive of the idea from the onset because times have changed and I always believe in principle that we should not hang on to the past if the past no longer serves a purpose in the present, or in the future. I had not lived in the house for many years but the fond memories of my childhood will forever be etched in the crevices of my heart and of my mind.

Just as when one of my good friends told me he would be leaving Singapore to start a new career and a new life in Europe in a few weeks’ time, I couldn’t be more delighted and can only wish him well. A few friends have shared important news to me in confidence which led me to examine how those changes will alter the courses of their lives, and that if those were to happen to me, how markedly my life would change too. Anyhow, I will always be happy and supportive of my friends’ choices. Inevitably, everything changes. Perhaps not all at once, and not always in a gargantuan way but everything does change, change being life’s only constant (I suppose along with death and taxes).

Along with the announcement that I came in 19th place out of the 374 participants of my firm’s annual Step Challenge for charity, came the announcement of a career promotion I had been anticipating. It’s a strong validation of the effort I had put in the past year. While I’m ecstatic with this news, I feel more grateful to a couple of ex bosses who advocated for me and my colleagues before their respective departures. I joined the team primarily because I knew I would be working alongside great people, not only by the measure of their work but more importantly their character – kind, honest and fair. I sense that the team’s landscape has changed since their leave, for better or for worse is too soon too tell. My firm’s investment strategies are complex and challenging but possibly one of the most effective in the Asia Pacific region and the firm is well regarded. I still have so much to learn and at one point I’ve dreamed of this job so I’ll be sticking around for some time, unless of course something better comes along. Though I miss my ex bosses, I know that they’ve since moved on to better things.

I had been making more frequent trips home in the past year and in the last couple of trips, I felt that the simplicity of life in Marbel is something I can look forward to down the road when I retire. I don’t know how to explain it but there is a stark contrast between my life at home and my life as an expat. I view these two lives so distinctly I find it difficult to reconcile them. I feel that I’m a completely different person when I work, and my work self is someone I don’t even want to be friends with. My work self is serious about doing a proper job of things so she naturally has high expectations of others around her. Meanwhile, my home self is more attuned to who I really am or who I want to be, just someone who enjoys being around people who are humble, kind, easygoing and like to have fun. A minor case of Jekyll and Hyde. In hindsight, maybe having these two selves allow me to be flexible and more adaptable to any situation.

Spending time in the Philippines lately helped shape some perspectives I’ve been struggling with on account of my living abroad for nearly 12 years. My sense of home have become somewhat warped but at least now I am certain of one thing – I will always have a home in Pinas should I decide it’s time to go back. My sense of identity is still deeply rooted in the country I grew up in. Despite the clusterfuck brought about by systemic corruption and years of bad governance, I remain hopeful especially when I witness ordinary Filipinos extend helping hands in hard times. Or see ordinary Filipinos take pride in their life’s work like our Paraw captain who enthusiastically shared his journey from being a balancer to a captain, a job he has held for 20 years. I also remember Kuya George, our tour agent in Boracay, whose client relationship management skills fare much better than the consultants and service providers our firm pays millions of dollars to. He toiled honestly and offered us a great time, meanwhile the service providers I deal with only give me headaches and anger issues. I wish he earned more for his service but a meagre allowance was all he hoped to gain and for that he was already immensely grateful.

2024 has barely begun and a common theme has already emerged. Change. It’s going to be a year full of changes. Change is good and necessary with one byproduct I most look forward to, progress. May the Year of the Wood Dragon bring us all good health, vitality and abundance. Kung Hei Fat Choi!

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